Posted by: Kristi
I had a few minutes to go to the bathroom by myself earlier. Due to this rare occurrence, I realized I was wearing the same underwear as yesterday. In my defense, I had a dentist appointment today and any sort of appointment throws off all routine for me. However, at said dentist appointment, I was applauded for my well cared for and cavity-free (this time) teeth. So rest assured that I do practice good hygiene on a regular basis.
Why do I share my repeat underwear saga with you, dear reader? Well, its been one of those days. Although you and I may laugh (or scoff) at my lack of personal care, the rest of the day was not so humorous. You see, I have a full-fledged bite mark on my arm. It’s so perfect and complete that I can even see my sweet boy’s slightly crooked bottom tooth in it. And every time I glance down at it, I’m brought to tears.
I love my children something fierce. My whole life has changed because I want what my husband and I feel is best for them. I would literally do anything for them. But bite marks bring in waves of doubt and feelings that I must not be loving them enough.
I’m still learning this whole honesty thing. My kids aren’t perfect. My parenting isn’t perfect. Obviously I’m not perfect if I’m wearing day-old underwear. But I don’t want the “we’re not perfect” saying to become my guard. It’s easy to spout off that I’m not perfect but it’s a lot harder to say I’ve been impatient with my little guy all week. It’s really hard for me to admit that my discipline practices may not be the best. And it’s equally hard for me to say that my sweet boy may have only been mirroring some of the pent up frustration he’s seen in his mama all week.
So what do you and I do with all this? Well fellow trying, tired, loving, bite-marked mama, you rest knowing that Jesus offers sweet grace to each of us. Grace that covers the mistakes. Grace that covers the frustrations. Grace that covers the confusions and the hurts and the unknowns. And as one of my dear friends so faithfully reminds me, even when your husband or your child or your friend or your boss or whoever is lacking in appreciation or understanding of you, you rest knowing that Jesus sees you and cares for you in the everyday life.