Posted by: Kelli
Relationships are a funny thing in life. They come and they go. They may stay the same for a long time, but life changes and friendships ebb and flow with the seasons of life. I have learned those changes in friendships are okay.
Peter and I attend a pretty big church. We see lots of people every Sunday, and we have built many, many relationships over the years. Peter and I met serving in ministry at church. We had some great friends when we were single. Then we started dating, and our friends changed. Then we were married, and our friends changed. Then we had children, and our friends changed.
Friends that we used to be best friends with are now mere acquaintances.
Does anyone else relate to me with this? Do you ever run into those friends that were your best friends and now you aren’t even sure what to say to them when you see them?
I used to find it oh so awkward when I ran into these friends in the hallways at church on Sundays.
I think my confidence and courage grew a little, and now when I see ‘old friends,’ I try to sincerely reach out and ask how they are doing. Sometimes conversation is a bit bumpy taking off, but if I ask the right questions and err on the side of sincerity and encouragement, we can often pick up where we left off.
I have learned a sincere ‘how are you doing’ can go a long way in starting a good conversation.
Sometimes when Peter and I have another family over for dinner or friends over for games, every one leaves and we feel completely encouraged after having some great heart to heart conversations with our guests. Other times, every one leaves, and we wonder how we made it through the evening having any good conversation at all.
Peter and I make it a habit to have a mental list of questions to ask our guests or friends when they come over to our home. This helps get the conversations going, but asking questions is a very real way to show you care about someone and what’s going on in their life.
The question suggestions I listed below go beyond your favorite vacation destination or your favorite food. These questions ask about what’s on someone’s heart and mind.
Maybe you’ve been married for lots of years and feel like you have run out of things to talk about with your spouse. Maybe you are looking for some new questions to ask, or maybe you find yourself talking too much and need some question suggestions to help you find deeper friendship.
Here is a list of twenty questions you can consider asking your husband, wife, or your closer friends. Hopefully they will spur on some good heart to heart conversation for this Valentine’s Day. And maybe you will learn something new about each other.
Sidenote: If you are asking your spouse these questions, feel free to substitute the word ‘we’ for ‘you.’ For example, instead of asking, ‘where do you think you waste the most time,’ ask your spouse, ‘where do you think we waste the most time?’
What is your favorite way to spend free time?
What do you think is your greatest talent?
What habits would you like to see changed in your life?
What habits would you like to see changed in my life?
What do you see as your greatest priorities in life right now?
Who is someone you wish you could be more like?
What do you hope / want people to see in you when you are around them?
Where is your favorite place to go?
What helps you unwind?
How do you think you best serve other people?
How do you think you waste the most time?
What hobby would you like to make more time for?
What do you find yourself praying for most often?
How can I make your life better?
What is your ideal morning routine?
How are you using our time wisely right now?
What do you wish you could spend more money on?
Where do you exhibit the most discipline?
With which of your resources, skills, or talents do you find yourself being most generous?
What are you thoughts about the time you spend watching TV or scrolling social media?
What skills, hobbies, talents, or character traits do you think you could teach to others?
What does your ideal three day weekend look like?
What makes you most excited in life right now?
How can I pray for you?
Who do you wish you could spend more time with or serve more often?
Also, if you’d like to print any of the above quotes, we’ve made them available for you here!